Hey, tonight's post is probably going to be pretty short because I've been reading/schooling all day today. I just wanted to note something that the Lord had revealed to me yesterday. I again had the privilege of eating lunch and speaking with a group of believers from our Church yesterday (and a different group at that!). One of the people at the table was my Mom, another was my third grade teacher, Mrs. Richardson (I can't call her by her first name, she was my teacher ha). Mrs. Richardson and her husband, who had also been my main youth leader in high school, were in the conversation with us, and I enjoyed it very much. I always enjoy listening to Glen (he wasn't my third-grade teacher... ha) speak, because there is always a Bible truth that is tied to whatever he is saying (or so it seems).
Near the end of the conversation, for some reason the conversation turned to the youth group kids, and Glen said he was excited to see that "guys like Geary" have stuck around--to which my only response was, "uhhh...".
When I left, and as I reached home, I was still thinking about that part of the conversation, and I realized how great of an impact he, his wife, and my parents had actually had on my conversion--in a more subtle way.
You see, I grew up in Church--and not just Church--an AWANA Church. (If you don't know what that is, it's a club where kids meet on Wednesdays and try to memorize Bible verses, and play games and have snacks.) My parents took us every week, and my Mom made sure we knew the verses we were supposed to know for the week--every week. So I learned a lot of Bible verses. I also learned a lot of Bible verses in my third-grade class at my Christian school. Mrs. Richardson even had songs for some of the verses. So I learned a lot of the Bible as a kid. The only problem was, it didn't find prepared soil in my heart to grow.
In my high school years, I continued in the Church youth group. I didn't become the rebel who shunned what I was learning at youth group--I became the rebel who shunned the application of what I was learning at youth group. I became more and more "hollow"--I knew all the answers, but I didn't really have any deep root in the understanding of the Gospel. Yet Glen was there every Sunday, teaching us how Scripture applied to high school life (and the rest of life...), how to defend the Christian faith, how to know God in a deeper way. Yet all of this hit the hard soil of my heart and lay dormant, because I was unwilling to listen to God's call to repentance.
Cut to 20 years old, God opens my eyes by using our Pastor's constant exhortation to read the Scriptures daily. As I began to read, I began to see that this Christian life was not the life I was living. I knew all of these things to be true, but I also realized I wasn't living them. I was living as a self-righteous Pharisee, and I was just as much "a white-washed tomb" as they were. This is where I believe God truly called me to His Son, and I saw nothing better than the fact that despite my wicked and sinful heart, Jesus had paid the price for my sin. I didn't fully understand repentance, but I knew I didn't want to continue living in contradiction to the Scriptures. I believe that is when God truly applied my sin to Christ and His righteousness was credited to me. Since then, I have lived in a constant battle to keep that truth fresh in my mind, but I know that God will not allow me to stumble beyond all hope--because He will not lose one of His sheep.
The point? When I first became a Christian, I think I secretly resented all of my "Church authorities" for not saving me when I was younger. What I realized at a deeper level yesterday was that it was not that they were unfaithful in "training up a child in the way he should go", but that my heart had been so hard that I had not been prepared to receive the Word that was shared with me. I now realize that I was the hard-hearted one, they were the faithful sowers. I am now even more deeply thankful for these people constantly sowing the seed of the Word into my heart as a child, because when God saw fit, He used it used it to convict me of the truth of His Word and the truth of His Gospel. So, if you are teaching little children the Bible, please don't give up--even if it seems they aren't listening now. The Scriptures might not hit their hearts right now, but God may still use it later to crush their heart of stone.
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