Things That Are Ruining Church Youngsters, Part 1

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."--Philippians 2:3

I think the first contributor to the downfall spiritually of many in the younger generation today is the "self-esteem" movement.

This is the movement where your kids are made out to be fragile glass ornaments who just might shatter at any moment and then blame you when they are on a therapist's couch in 20 years.

This movement includes the following measures to ensure our children's "safety":

1. They cannot lose a sports game, so we just won't keep score. That way they figure out that life always ends up fair and balanced, and everybody's a winner.
2. They cannot EVER, ever have their feelings hurt, (note the couch scene above) so you must shield them from hearing any sort of corrective words, whether from you, or from any other adult that thinks he "knows better" than your child
3. They cannot EVER, EVER, ever be told that they are doing somethings wrong in their schoolwork, or else they will never want to learn anything again and they might drop out of high school later in life. Therefore, we've allowed for "creative spelling" in which the child can spell words the way he or she feels best. 2 +2 doesn't always have to equal 4, does it?

If you've detected a hint of sarcasm in the beginning of this post, congratulations. I apologize if I've stepped on toes with my workboots here, but we have to see this for what it is: Foolishness.

It's as if we've become scared of our children.

Scared that they will suffer the slightest bit of damage and hold us responsible for it later on in life.

So, we've resorted to letting the world revolve around children and their pleasure, when Proverbs 22:15 tells us that, "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child".

Do we really want to be led by someone whose heart is "bound up" with foolishness?

This is not only foolishness, but it is completely un-Biblical.

This brings us to the verse above, Philippians 2:3.

This seems to go counter to self-esteem.

"Consider others better than yourselves"?

That's not me-centered!

That's exactly the point!

We are not supposed to live me-centered lives focused on whatever's best for me.

Neither are our children. Their lives should be about glorifying God, not glorifying themselves.

They should be far more concerned with whether their brothers and sisters and friends are well-pleased than whether they are pleased.

Guys, I'm speaking this from experience.

We have a seven year old who we bought the "self-esteem" lie in raising.

So far, it has produced a child with a lack of respect for others and who's only concern (most of the time) is how someone else can entertain him.

I love my son, and I'm not trying to convey any other message, but this "emotional trauma" myth that we bought has led to a child who is self-centered rather than God-centered.

It has been a struggle to try to change that heart orientation.

If you are struggling with the same problems, I would highly recommend a book by Tedd Tripp entitled "Shepherding a Child's Heart".

It is the most Biblically-centered, God-honoring parenting book that I think I've ever read.

So, if you're a parent who has bought the self-esteem program, please think hard about whether it is Biblically correct or not.

And, if you are a child reading this, you ARE NOT the center of the universe.